Finally, something happened!

Oh, I cant believe it! I'll tell ya, it seems like an eternity waiting for each new task to get completed! Its so weird because its like I get this high when something new happens, and then once the frustration of the waiting sets in, its like I crash. My mood has been pretty down lately, but Im trying really hard to keep my chin up. I guess somehow Im still very afraid. Afraid that something is going to happen and take all of my hope away, and with it, my chances of having a baby. Infertility will do that to you, I guess. It makes you almost scared to dream after a while. I do realize that I spent alot of time (years!) building a great big wall around my heart, to protect myself from any more pain. Little by little I'm starting to let my guard down though. With each step we take towards our child, one more piece of the wall falls away. I just wish I could really, completely enjoy it, and not always be thinking in the back of my mind "please, please dont let anything bad happen to mess this up for us!".

This past week was big for us though. We had our homestudy officially approved, and today the agency sent it off to CIS! So we should have our approval form, our 171-H, within a few weeks they think. Im just so excited that we have made it this far already! Adoption is a long road, but it really is amazing. Now if our agency would just receive their license from Vietnam already, we would really be full steam ahead..........