On our way home
The last week of our stay was of course the hardest. By this time all of us were getting very antsy, the hotel room was seeming smaller day by day, we had done everything and seen everything we were going to get to during our stay, and we were just plain getting anxious to get home and start our lives. Not to mention that we really wanted to get back to the states and have the babies see their pediatricians, as Bryan and one of the other babies had a nasty skin problem.
The agency had told us that estimated time in country would be two weeks, but be prepared for up to three. Well, we were in Vietnam for a grand total of three weeks. Twenty-one amazing, unforgettable, exhausting, and stressful days. Our cases got hung up at the Embassy for longer than expected, and for a few days were getting scared that we werent even going to get when we did. But after tons of nagging phone calls and trips down to the Embassy in person, we got the call that our long awaited second interview was scheduled. Meaning that all we had to do was go back down to the office at our appointed time and pick up the babys visas. Then we were free to go.
On that day, we packed everything up, said goodbye to the hotel staff who, by this time were like our little family. They helped us alot along the way, and we tried our best to convey our gratitude to them. I still miss sitting in the little dining area on the top floor of the hotel and having my coffee, toast and jelly every morning. The women would take the babies from us so we could relax and enjoy while we ate. And coming in the windows was the music that would start every morning at 5AM while people would gather around the lake for tai-chi. I miss all of that alot now.
We headed to the airport and had to wait three grueling hours with no place to sit and of course no air conditioning (very few places in Vietnam have any) to get checked in for our flight to Hong Kong. While waiting to board our plane, we met a woman who had just adopted her daughter, who was about Bryans age. She was from Maryland and was traveling alone. It was nice to have someone to talk to and compare our experiences. As more people began to crowd around the gate, all of them Asian and speaking little to no English, my mood began to lift a bit more. Everybody wanted to look at the babies of course, and Bryan being the little social butterfly that he is, was smiling at all of them.
At last we boarded, and flew away from Vietnam. Away from the only home Bryan had known so far. Such a bittersweet moment that was. On one hand I was so elated to be bringing my long awaited baby home, but I was also very aware of the fact that at this very moment Bryan was going through one of what I imagine to be one of the biggest losses he will ever experience in his life. One day it will be up to us to explain what happened to him and how we came to be together and be a family. To talk about his birthmother and his country. Right now Bryan is only eight months old, but already Im thinking about what I will say. How I will say it. Its hard because I know that he will have questions that we will not have the answers to. Questions that he may never ever get answers to from anyone. He deserves to have all the answers. To know his whole story. And this is something that hurts me so much.
Back to the plane though. As soon as we set foot on the plane and found our seat, Bryan started to scream. This was a hint of what was to come for the duration of our trip. Bryan was sitting on my lap in the aisle seat, which was pretty good. Two business men were sitting next to us. Now one thing I will mention here. We flew Delta for our domestic flights. For a five hour trip from Raleigh to LA, all they give you is chips and soda. Compared to Cathay Pacific, which we used for all of our other travel. During the flight from Hanoi to Hong Kong, which is only an hour and a half, you get a meal. Cheap a$$ airlines here........ Another glimpse of what was to come was when the food came. For one, I could barely get my tray opened with Bryan sitting on my lap, and then.....try cutting food and getting any of it into your mouth. Yeah, yeah. I know. All the seasoned moms out there are just rolling their eyes at me. But for goodness sakes, I was sitting in an airplane seat in coach!!! Still rolling your eyes? OK fine. All I know is that if it werent for the man sitting next to me helping me out a bit, even offering to put the dressing on my salad for me, I wouldnt have gotten any dinner at all.
Next stop is Hong Kong. When we got off the plane, I have the hardest time figuring out where we had to go next. I saw a woman and asked her where to go for Cathay Pacific. She didnt say anything, but pointed to a line of people. So I got in it. Well, little did I know that it was the immigration line. I started freaking out and telling the man behing the counter that I was in the wrong place. He wasnt listening to me, but rather was just talking and talking to another man in Chinese. He was showing him our passports and everything. What were they saying about us? Im just standing there thinking "Holy crap! Please just give me my papers back and let me find out where to catch my flight to LA!!!". But no. Instead here comes another man, who it turns out, is one of the head immigration officials. By now Im starting to get teary eyed. If I missed my flight back to the states I would just die! I had to get home! The man thankfully spoke English, and I explained him to him that I got into the wrong line and was trying to find my airlines gate to catch my next flight. He makes my go with him to the immigration office, and sit in a chair for what seemed like forever. No one would look at me, never mind tell me what to do, how to get to my plane, give me my passports back, or anything. I must have sat there fifteen or maybe twenty minutes. It felt like an eternity at any rate. Now Im crying. With this baby hanging off of me, and my bags at my feet. Im getting scared that my plane will leave without me. Im not even sure what time my flight is taking off. I tried to catch someones attention because they all were just ignoring us, and they would just tell me to sit back down. Finally, the same man did come back, this time with all of my papers, as well as our boarding passes for our flight. He had gotten us all checked in and ready to go, which was awesome. He pointed in the direction of our gate, and that was it. The race to catch our plane was on. The race to get out of Asia and get back to that states was on!
When I tell you I ran, or rather race walked all the way to Gate 50, I am not exagerating. I mean we were moving fast! I was dripping with sweat from having Bryan hanging off of me. All fifteen pounds of him. Plus having a backpack on, and hauling a laptop. I was so exhausted and felt ready to drop to the ground. I honestly dont know how I didnt fall flat on my face. But I just kept telling myself "No. Keep going. You'll have plenty of time to sit on the plane. You can pee on the plane. You can get a drink on the plane. For now just move it, move it , move it!!!!!! At last there was Gate 50 looming ahead of us like an oasis in the desert. I dont know how far I racewalked, but our gate was all the way at the other end of the airport from the immigration office. And I was right to be booking like I was to get there, because the plane was getting ready to begin boarding already. Whew, we just made it!!! A woman waiting in line to board saw the shape I was in, and offered to carry my bags on the plane and help me get seated. Bless that woman!
So we get on the plane, and find that not only do we NOT have an bulkhead seat with basinett like our travel agent said, but we have ourselves a window seat. I started to cry again. I have to sit in this tight little seat next to two other people for 12 hours??? Bryan is going to have to sit and sleep on my lap for twelve hours? It was hard having him on me for that short flight from Hanoi, but my goodness! ARE YOU F&$ @%* KIDDING ME???? So we sit down in our little seat, and Bryan starts to scream again. Oh boy. And he proceeded to yell until the plane rolled away from the gate. As soon as we were moving he quieted right down. I never had a problem with Bryans ears bothering him with taking off and landing because he pretty much slept through them. Lucky kid though, screaming like that. Hes a baby and can get away with it. Me, I was dying to scream.
Twelve seemingly endless hours later, we hit the ground in LA. This was another monumental moment in our journey because as soon as our plane touched down, Bryan became a US citizen. Boy were things different for this little boy. That was such a cool moment, combined with the fact that we were finally back on US soil, made me forget some of the horrors of the international leg of our trip. Like trying to eat again. Not being able to get up to get a drink of water for hours. Changing Bryans diaper in that nasty bathroom. But alas we were home. This was my goal. Just to get to LA. After that, I said, I dont care what happens. Lose my luggage, miss my flight....... OK, that one would be bad, but still, I was in America so it was all good to me. If I could have gotten on the ground and kissed it, I would have. Oh, there was one, and I mean only one, cool moment on our flight. When the sun came up and we looked out the window, Bryan was mesmerized. He was just staring at the clouds and the wing of the plane for the longest time. So I said "Wow, look at Tinh-Tinh! Hes flying! Tinh-Tinhs flying!!!". And he just smiled so big as we flew through the clouds. That was an awesome moment.
First stop was Immigration. "Line 17", the woman directing traffic told me as I arrived in the terminal. We waited for about thirty minutes in line for our turn, then happily handed over our passports and Bryans paperwork from the US Embassy for processing. In a few minutes we were on our way again. We had to collect our baggage now, and haul all of it with us to the Delta terminal to catch our flight to Raleigh. Now I was on a mission. I knew were Delta was, and took off like a bat out of hell to get us checked in and on our last plane. Turns out that hundreds of other people were also trying to get checked in for flights at the same time, and again I began to worry that I would miss my plane. After some begging and pleading, I got an employee to bump me up to the front of the line so I could move along. Bryan helped there too, starting to fuss in his carrier. By now I think even he was getting sick of all this. So we got checked in, made our way through security, and at last I caught a glimpse of the plane that would take us home. I couldnt believe it, we were really going to make it home!
Someone was smiling down on me by this point I think, because this plane wasnt even half full, compared to having hundreds of people packed like sardines on those international planes. So Bryan and I had a whole row to ourselves. Sweeeeeeeeet. We fell into our seats when..........yup, you guessed it, Bryan starts to scream again. This time he is just relentless too. He is mad. Me too, babe. But my boy is a tough cookie, and he hung in there with me, even taking a nap for about an hour, stretched across the seats. Poor thing hadnt been able to lay down for a nap for so long now. I stuffed myself with chips and whatever other junk the stewardess had to offer, just grateful to be able to have a few minutes to relax and eat something while Bryan slept next to me. It was short lived though, and then he was up and yelling again. He had just had enough now. I took him to the bathroom to change him, and this time he had a wicked diaper blow-out. Just to make things all the more fun. On top of that, I chose the bathroom that didnt have a changing table. Great. So I was balancing Bryan on me, cleaning poop, while he is still screaming at the top of his lungs. About an hour and a half later though, Bryan was quiet. As if he knew that we were there. Preparing to land in Raleigh at last. This trip was so nutty that I didnt even have a minute to call George along the way like I had planned to. I hoped he was there! The anticipation was killing me. We were decending slowly. And as the wheels hit the runway, I felt such a wave of relief. We did it. We were home.
It was so surreal walking through RDU heading for the baggage claim. I passed by the very spot where George and I ate dinner and passed time waiting for our flight to begin boarding for LA three weeks ago. And now here I was walking past the same spot with our baby. I wasnt the same person that was in this airport that other day anymore. Now Im a mother. And were off to find daddy. Silly me to think he wouldnt be there. Of course he was. He spotted me before I ever saw him. I was too busy trying to figure out where to wait for our bags, and trying not to fall over from exhaustion.
We knew we were really home when we saw George and our friends waiting for us. Bryan was reuntied with his daddy, and was meeting his first friend, James, who came to welcome him home. As we were leaving the airport, I was thinking that that was the last I wanted to see of an airport for a long, loooooooong time. I was also so proud of myself at that moment as well. I had gotten the two of us around the world and back home safely. We went out to breakfast with James and his parents, who are great friends of ours, and then took our baby home.
We lay him down in his Snoopy room for the first time, and our sweet son slept. He was home forever.
It was an amazing experience adopting Bryan, and I wouldnt change a minute of it. I would do it all over again, exactly the same way, just to have him. He was so worth all of it, start to finish. I was willing to do anything, or go anywhere in the world just to find him, and now that hes here, I would lay down my life for him.
The agency had told us that estimated time in country would be two weeks, but be prepared for up to three. Well, we were in Vietnam for a grand total of three weeks. Twenty-one amazing, unforgettable, exhausting, and stressful days. Our cases got hung up at the Embassy for longer than expected, and for a few days were getting scared that we werent even going to get when we did. But after tons of nagging phone calls and trips down to the Embassy in person, we got the call that our long awaited second interview was scheduled. Meaning that all we had to do was go back down to the office at our appointed time and pick up the babys visas. Then we were free to go.
On that day, we packed everything up, said goodbye to the hotel staff who, by this time were like our little family. They helped us alot along the way, and we tried our best to convey our gratitude to them. I still miss sitting in the little dining area on the top floor of the hotel and having my coffee, toast and jelly every morning. The women would take the babies from us so we could relax and enjoy while we ate. And coming in the windows was the music that would start every morning at 5AM while people would gather around the lake for tai-chi. I miss all of that alot now.
We headed to the airport and had to wait three grueling hours with no place to sit and of course no air conditioning (very few places in Vietnam have any) to get checked in for our flight to Hong Kong. While waiting to board our plane, we met a woman who had just adopted her daughter, who was about Bryans age. She was from Maryland and was traveling alone. It was nice to have someone to talk to and compare our experiences. As more people began to crowd around the gate, all of them Asian and speaking little to no English, my mood began to lift a bit more. Everybody wanted to look at the babies of course, and Bryan being the little social butterfly that he is, was smiling at all of them.
At last we boarded, and flew away from Vietnam. Away from the only home Bryan had known so far. Such a bittersweet moment that was. On one hand I was so elated to be bringing my long awaited baby home, but I was also very aware of the fact that at this very moment Bryan was going through one of what I imagine to be one of the biggest losses he will ever experience in his life. One day it will be up to us to explain what happened to him and how we came to be together and be a family. To talk about his birthmother and his country. Right now Bryan is only eight months old, but already Im thinking about what I will say. How I will say it. Its hard because I know that he will have questions that we will not have the answers to. Questions that he may never ever get answers to from anyone. He deserves to have all the answers. To know his whole story. And this is something that hurts me so much.
Back to the plane though. As soon as we set foot on the plane and found our seat, Bryan started to scream. This was a hint of what was to come for the duration of our trip. Bryan was sitting on my lap in the aisle seat, which was pretty good. Two business men were sitting next to us. Now one thing I will mention here. We flew Delta for our domestic flights. For a five hour trip from Raleigh to LA, all they give you is chips and soda. Compared to Cathay Pacific, which we used for all of our other travel. During the flight from Hanoi to Hong Kong, which is only an hour and a half, you get a meal. Cheap a$$ airlines here........ Another glimpse of what was to come was when the food came. For one, I could barely get my tray opened with Bryan sitting on my lap, and then.....try cutting food and getting any of it into your mouth. Yeah, yeah. I know. All the seasoned moms out there are just rolling their eyes at me. But for goodness sakes, I was sitting in an airplane seat in coach!!! Still rolling your eyes? OK fine. All I know is that if it werent for the man sitting next to me helping me out a bit, even offering to put the dressing on my salad for me, I wouldnt have gotten any dinner at all.
Next stop is Hong Kong. When we got off the plane, I have the hardest time figuring out where we had to go next. I saw a woman and asked her where to go for Cathay Pacific. She didnt say anything, but pointed to a line of people. So I got in it. Well, little did I know that it was the immigration line. I started freaking out and telling the man behing the counter that I was in the wrong place. He wasnt listening to me, but rather was just talking and talking to another man in Chinese. He was showing him our passports and everything. What were they saying about us? Im just standing there thinking "Holy crap! Please just give me my papers back and let me find out where to catch my flight to LA!!!". But no. Instead here comes another man, who it turns out, is one of the head immigration officials. By now Im starting to get teary eyed. If I missed my flight back to the states I would just die! I had to get home! The man thankfully spoke English, and I explained him to him that I got into the wrong line and was trying to find my airlines gate to catch my next flight. He makes my go with him to the immigration office, and sit in a chair for what seemed like forever. No one would look at me, never mind tell me what to do, how to get to my plane, give me my passports back, or anything. I must have sat there fifteen or maybe twenty minutes. It felt like an eternity at any rate. Now Im crying. With this baby hanging off of me, and my bags at my feet. Im getting scared that my plane will leave without me. Im not even sure what time my flight is taking off. I tried to catch someones attention because they all were just ignoring us, and they would just tell me to sit back down. Finally, the same man did come back, this time with all of my papers, as well as our boarding passes for our flight. He had gotten us all checked in and ready to go, which was awesome. He pointed in the direction of our gate, and that was it. The race to catch our plane was on. The race to get out of Asia and get back to that states was on!
When I tell you I ran, or rather race walked all the way to Gate 50, I am not exagerating. I mean we were moving fast! I was dripping with sweat from having Bryan hanging off of me. All fifteen pounds of him. Plus having a backpack on, and hauling a laptop. I was so exhausted and felt ready to drop to the ground. I honestly dont know how I didnt fall flat on my face. But I just kept telling myself "No. Keep going. You'll have plenty of time to sit on the plane. You can pee on the plane. You can get a drink on the plane. For now just move it, move it , move it!!!!!! At last there was Gate 50 looming ahead of us like an oasis in the desert. I dont know how far I racewalked, but our gate was all the way at the other end of the airport from the immigration office. And I was right to be booking like I was to get there, because the plane was getting ready to begin boarding already. Whew, we just made it!!! A woman waiting in line to board saw the shape I was in, and offered to carry my bags on the plane and help me get seated. Bless that woman!
So we get on the plane, and find that not only do we NOT have an bulkhead seat with basinett like our travel agent said, but we have ourselves a window seat. I started to cry again. I have to sit in this tight little seat next to two other people for 12 hours??? Bryan is going to have to sit and sleep on my lap for twelve hours? It was hard having him on me for that short flight from Hanoi, but my goodness! ARE YOU F&$ @%* KIDDING ME???? So we sit down in our little seat, and Bryan starts to scream again. Oh boy. And he proceeded to yell until the plane rolled away from the gate. As soon as we were moving he quieted right down. I never had a problem with Bryans ears bothering him with taking off and landing because he pretty much slept through them. Lucky kid though, screaming like that. Hes a baby and can get away with it. Me, I was dying to scream.
Twelve seemingly endless hours later, we hit the ground in LA. This was another monumental moment in our journey because as soon as our plane touched down, Bryan became a US citizen. Boy were things different for this little boy. That was such a cool moment, combined with the fact that we were finally back on US soil, made me forget some of the horrors of the international leg of our trip. Like trying to eat again. Not being able to get up to get a drink of water for hours. Changing Bryans diaper in that nasty bathroom. But alas we were home. This was my goal. Just to get to LA. After that, I said, I dont care what happens. Lose my luggage, miss my flight....... OK, that one would be bad, but still, I was in America so it was all good to me. If I could have gotten on the ground and kissed it, I would have. Oh, there was one, and I mean only one, cool moment on our flight. When the sun came up and we looked out the window, Bryan was mesmerized. He was just staring at the clouds and the wing of the plane for the longest time. So I said "Wow, look at Tinh-Tinh! Hes flying! Tinh-Tinhs flying!!!". And he just smiled so big as we flew through the clouds. That was an awesome moment.
First stop was Immigration. "Line 17", the woman directing traffic told me as I arrived in the terminal. We waited for about thirty minutes in line for our turn, then happily handed over our passports and Bryans paperwork from the US Embassy for processing. In a few minutes we were on our way again. We had to collect our baggage now, and haul all of it with us to the Delta terminal to catch our flight to Raleigh. Now I was on a mission. I knew were Delta was, and took off like a bat out of hell to get us checked in and on our last plane. Turns out that hundreds of other people were also trying to get checked in for flights at the same time, and again I began to worry that I would miss my plane. After some begging and pleading, I got an employee to bump me up to the front of the line so I could move along. Bryan helped there too, starting to fuss in his carrier. By now I think even he was getting sick of all this. So we got checked in, made our way through security, and at last I caught a glimpse of the plane that would take us home. I couldnt believe it, we were really going to make it home!
Someone was smiling down on me by this point I think, because this plane wasnt even half full, compared to having hundreds of people packed like sardines on those international planes. So Bryan and I had a whole row to ourselves. Sweeeeeeeeet. We fell into our seats when..........yup, you guessed it, Bryan starts to scream again. This time he is just relentless too. He is mad. Me too, babe. But my boy is a tough cookie, and he hung in there with me, even taking a nap for about an hour, stretched across the seats. Poor thing hadnt been able to lay down for a nap for so long now. I stuffed myself with chips and whatever other junk the stewardess had to offer, just grateful to be able to have a few minutes to relax and eat something while Bryan slept next to me. It was short lived though, and then he was up and yelling again. He had just had enough now. I took him to the bathroom to change him, and this time he had a wicked diaper blow-out. Just to make things all the more fun. On top of that, I chose the bathroom that didnt have a changing table. Great. So I was balancing Bryan on me, cleaning poop, while he is still screaming at the top of his lungs. About an hour and a half later though, Bryan was quiet. As if he knew that we were there. Preparing to land in Raleigh at last. This trip was so nutty that I didnt even have a minute to call George along the way like I had planned to. I hoped he was there! The anticipation was killing me. We were decending slowly. And as the wheels hit the runway, I felt such a wave of relief. We did it. We were home.
It was so surreal walking through RDU heading for the baggage claim. I passed by the very spot where George and I ate dinner and passed time waiting for our flight to begin boarding for LA three weeks ago. And now here I was walking past the same spot with our baby. I wasnt the same person that was in this airport that other day anymore. Now Im a mother. And were off to find daddy. Silly me to think he wouldnt be there. Of course he was. He spotted me before I ever saw him. I was too busy trying to figure out where to wait for our bags, and trying not to fall over from exhaustion.
We knew we were really home when we saw George and our friends waiting for us. Bryan was reuntied with his daddy, and was meeting his first friend, James, who came to welcome him home. As we were leaving the airport, I was thinking that that was the last I wanted to see of an airport for a long, loooooooong time. I was also so proud of myself at that moment as well. I had gotten the two of us around the world and back home safely. We went out to breakfast with James and his parents, who are great friends of ours, and then took our baby home.
We lay him down in his Snoopy room for the first time, and our sweet son slept. He was home forever.
So Was That Really Long Or What?
I know this part of my blog has been really long, and probably lost a reader or two along the way, but I wanted to try to write as much of the experience as I could remember, in as much detail as possible. Its been five months since we adopted Bryan, and I remember every moment like it was yesterday. I dont think I will ever forget any of it. Its etched in my heart forever. But one day I like to think that Bryan will read my blog, and if he does, I want him to know as many of those details as he can. Not that he really needs to know what a difficult trip it was getting back home, but still. Its the story of how we got home, and the things that happened along the way. I say that I can laugh about it all now, and its true. I got my little boy home in the end, so its all good.It was an amazing experience adopting Bryan, and I wouldnt change a minute of it. I would do it all over again, exactly the same way, just to have him. He was so worth all of it, start to finish. I was willing to do anything, or go anywhere in the world just to find him, and now that hes here, I would lay down my life for him.
posted by George and Chris | 5:05 PM
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